Shattered Humanity
by Jubalii
Summary: A little something with Wicked/Hellsing: Basically the bad reaction to Alucard's disappearance.


**Shattered Humanity (No Human is Left in Me)**

* * *

**Author's Note: **_I seem to have a bad habit of making songs into songfics for Hellsing. Can you blame me? (I didn't think you could.) __This is, of course, a Wicked/Hellsing thing. Poor Seras. _

_Just for the record: this is what happens if Seras reacted badly to Alucard's disappearance in the OVA/Manga-verse. (Shrugs) it came to me out of nowhere so…._

* * *

Integral Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing carefully placed the block that contained the last evidence that Alucard ever existed on top of his coffin, touching the marking on the stone briefly before sighing and shutting the door. Part of her commented snidely that she was locking away what had been Hellsing's legacy just like her father-an ironic twist that left her wondering if fate was a true thing.

It took her the time to get from the basement to her office before she realized something was _terribly _wrong. The bookshelf was in bad shape, as if the books had been flung in all directions by someone searching. Her desk was clean, its contents mixed with the books on the floor. Immediately knowing what was going on, Integra let out a gasp before turning and sprinting back toward the stairs.

_I knew she was grieving, but she's surely not going to-oh God in heaven _- Integra prayed as she threw herself around her questioning soldiers in an attempt to hurry. Panting, she burst through the front doors and ran toward the edge of Hellsing's property line, where one glance confirmed her worst fears. Shadows ripped and spiraled toward the blood-red moon, creating gorgeous arcs against the cloudless sky. It was grotesquely beautiful, but the sight only nauseated the already panicking knight.

"Seras! Seras!" she screamed, a tiny part of herself marveling at how shrill and girly her shrieks sounded as they escaped her throat unbidden. She found the Draculina standing alone in the clearing, rifling through pages as she growled to herself. Shouting in frustration, Seras threw the book away and clutched her head in both hands, screaming up at the moon.

* * *

"_**Master**_!"she called and Integra cringed at the sound of the grief-stricken cry, its echoes across the countryside enhancing the lonely sound. Seras waved a hand and another book appeared in her grasp. She opened it to the middle and began to chant a strange language, her finger following the words down the page.

"_Eleka nahmen nahmen at tum at tum Eleka nahmen: Eleka nahmen nahmen at tum at tum Eleka nahmen_," she recited, her voice low. Integra stood frozen to the spot, shivers coursing up and down her spine as her human nature recoiled from the supernatural wording. Seras let out a strangled sob, her fist crumpling the page. She spoke to herself in a strange tone, her speech sounding like a song all of its own.

* * *

"His flesh may have been torn, but his blood left no stain-  
They may beat him, but he felt no pain.  
And his bones often broke, but however they tried-  
He should not have died, _he should __**not **__have died_."

* * *

Seras hissed, running one hand through her hair as she retried the spell. "Eleka nahmen, nahmen at tum, at tum Eleka nahmen; Eleka nahmen, nahmen-eleka, eleka?" she slammed the spell book shut and tossed it into the growing pile, tears streaming down her face. Integra held her hands over her mouth, willing her immobile body to run to break Seras out of whatever crazy pit her mind had fallen into.

* * *

"What good is this chanting?!  
I don't even know what I'm reading!  
I don't even know what spell I ought to try.  
Master, where _**are **_you?  
You don't even answer me!  
One more disaster I can add to my_ generous_ supply?"

* * *

"Seras! Stop this!" Integra said, jumping at the sound of her own voice as she broke the spell and ran forward. Seras turned her head to take the woman in and Integra balked at the empty gaze that graced the vampiress' features. "Please, for the rest of your humanity-for what's left of you, I _beg_ you to quit…please." Integra held out her hands, beseeching the younger woman to think about what she was doing. Seras laughed softly, shaking her head slowly as the insanity crept back into her crimson gaze.

* * *

"No humanity was left in me.  
No silly mortal thoughts in my immortality.  
No humanity was left in me-  
Can you not see?  
My road of good intentions led  
where such roads always lead.  
_**No humanity is left in me**_!"

* * *

"Seras," Integra pleaded quietly, her voice breaking. Seras looked the blonde woman in the eyes, her gaze serious as she crimson tears coursed quietly down her own cheeks. "What are you talking about? You aren't making any sense!" Seras looked down at the ground, then at the pile of books.

"Walter….Captain Bernadotte…my master." Seras' hands clenched at her sides and Integra heard her fangs cracking as she gritted them, finally exploding. "_My __**Master!**_" she howled mournfully. Integra gasped as Seras suddenly looked at her with her face twisted in hate.

* * *

"One question haunts and hurts  
too much, too much to mention.  
Did I fight with _him_ for my humanity,  
or just for his attention?  
Was _**that**_ all I was when looked at  
through a cynic's eye?  
If that's all that I was,  
then I deserved to die!"

* * *

Integra had no choice but to back away as the spiraling shadows crept along the ground. She frantically turned her head, looking for salvation, but who? Her soldiers were too far away, Walter wasn't with her anymore, and Alucard… Alucard was where neither of them would ever get to anytime soon. Seras shook her head, the look on her face one of mixed disgust and epiphany.

* * *

"No humanity was left in me;  
It seems I was a fool, just a stupid kid-  
No humanity was left in me:  
Sure, I meant well-well, look what well-meant did!"

* * *

Integra felt the burning tears rolling down her cheeks, no longer held in by what little dignity she still possessed in front of the Draculina. "Seras don't leave me," she begged; it would do no good, she knew but she couldn't _not _say it. Seras looked to the sky, shaking visibly with rage and insanity.

* * *

"Alright so be it. So be it then.  
Alright God, you think you've won?!  
Well then, the joke's on you.  
Since I could not succeed, my master, saving you;  
I swear to the Heaven: I will burn in Hell too!  
Just try to keep me in!  
No good deeds will I do again!"

* * *

Integra felt a newer sort of fear racing down her spine as the maniacal vampiress eyed her with a hungry look. She gazed at the unblemished hands, the lack of runes, and closed her eyes. If she was going to die like this, well then so be it.

* * *

**Afterword:** Not my best songfic, but I love the song so I tried to do it justice. It was harder than I thought (T_T)7  
You can find "No Good Deed" ( I recommend the Broadway recording) on YouTube. Thanks for reading!


End file.
